surprised by anger

surprised by my deep anger

and feeling used

in the nasty snap i gave a friend

whose project demanded of me

when i had nothing left to give

he didn’t know; he went on a cruise

leaving me dangling

when he learned, he tried

to make amends, but too late,

it seems, because my true feelings

reached out in that vicious comment

that leaped from my lips

teaching me to forgive – when i can

moods of early February’s sky

moods of early February’s sky

winter, watercolor sky surrounds

my seventh floor apartment

giving me perspective beyond

residential rooftops now glittering

frost and the west hills of the city

glistening in patches of white

gray-blue demanding that i find

my paints in unopened boxes and

attempt to capture on rough paper

the moods of early February’s sky

and distant, evergreen hills

only so much

only so much i can do

when whoever is in charge wants more

i can only give less

and we are both dissatisfied with me

i am learning to forgive myself for that