mist

misty white-gray fog this morning

super moon during the night

lit up my lawn and groves of pine

like a snow-dusted fairyland

relieved

the pain did not disappear

but finding out what was wrong

and learning that it will not

devour her lifespan

is something to be endured

and conquered by time

and courage

relief so blessed by daughter

and her mother

pity has run its course

i, moved by pity

wanting to help

but dashed again into reality

of her odd world of causes

for which she is inadequate

but sees herself as lone

person of empathy

parading her good

if ineffective deeds

while seeing not the cost

to those moved to help her

i fear pity has run its course

and is giving way to disgust

perhaps pi knows

mathematicians say

reality is, finally, an equation

but perhaps the ancients

knew better to designate

existence as never-ending

re-circling cycles

light following darkness

season following season

cycling into year after old/new

year generation succeeding generation

until one, the individual, is part

of an extended whole far larger

than himself

perhaps there is an equation

to portray that

did the sun rise

today slipped into morning

without our golds and mauves

auburns and brilliant yellow-whites

strange to feel the daylight on my cheek

without having greeted the dawn

with due awe

less than the half dozen

six treasured art pieces

selected for my adult children

paid for, shipped, long awaited

the box so tightly secured

i needed my grandson to open

it for me

only to find five, not six

heartsick

we know better

why do we follow

commands to destroy people

when denigrated

this land was our land

 sixteen elk, including a camel-brown youth

and a number of bucks with stately antlers

climbed over and through wire fence

from our lower field onto our front lawn

milling and pawing, browsing on tufts of grass

lifting their heads to stare at my intrusion

as i stepped onto the porch to admire them

cover

 ‘each person wears only

his own skin’ is not gospel

among fashion designers

but does sum up the reality

of our moment

at the pearly gates

unlike the three monkeys

unlike the three monkeys

we have not well shut

our mouths from speaking evil

but we have blinded and deafened

ourselves to the daily unwelcome

and all-too-often peril lived

by more than half our fellow

human beings

ready to receive

wishing you quietness

to calm your being

to be ready to receive

peace

for we are commanded:

“be still,

and know that I am God”

(un)touched

untouched, we know not we are a separate being

touched, we learn our parts and limitations

untouched, we feel no attachment to any other 

touched, we learn empathy and understanding

untouched, we have no investment in compassion

old hands

chipped, sparkly polish

makes arthritic fingertips

at least fun to see

layered against what’s real

layer on layer

tee, shirt, sweater, jacket

yet chill wind penetrates all

stabbing shivers through my being

inviting me to imprison myself

in warmed shelter rather

than experience Ma’s awe

another way we humans

have barricaded ourselves

against Nature

hushed time, listening

hushed time, listening

anguished for the tale

of love stretched beyond

limits and parting of one

now again two                   

friends with my computer

rid myself of an app

it took hours of words with it

but worth the loss

to able to deal directly

oh, to be easy friends

with my ‘puter!

she raced down the path

 she raced down the path

at the edge of the wood

cleared the gate to the lower field

and was gone from my sight

i watched, hoping and afraid,

to see what pursued her

moments later, she raced

back up the path

i blinked, but nothing followed

minutes later, here she came

four slender legs

running full tilt down

and then back up

and yet a while, she sauntered

into the yard and stood

peering out over the valley

then took off, as fast as she could scamper down into the low field

and later, once again back up

i sat back, chuckling

at the doe’s exuberance

also hoping she could bring

an early spring

toll

fear takes such toll

making me huddle

rather than stand erect

restricting my limbs

when i should reach out

keeping me muffled

when, for once, i should speak

perhaps i should wait

until what is dreaded

touches me

instead of cowering

in anticipation

non-eqilibrium

funny how frightening

non-equilibrium engenders me

leaning toward walls

with each step

bumping into walls

to keep from falling

walking along

and suddenly veering

standing stock still

knowing i need to be down

but refusing to collapse

having already broken a rib

falling hard

even funnier

that it’s been my mind

that’s defined me all my life

and now my head

that’s going to kill me

doe in yard

so still, i missed her

twenty feet from me

legs tucked under

facing east, waiting

as i, for the morning

sun to grace and warm us