flexible strength

haiku

flexible strength yields

the path to the agreed goal

grips the objective

siblings’ memories

our parents changed

in the eight years between

my birth and his

my sibs and i can never

write the same memoir

out of a gray-cloudy day

help and support sometimes come

from on gray-cloudy day or week

of rejection disappointment

and from unanticipated sources

from people who have touched my life

but not yet allowed me to reach to them

they give without assurance of return

and leave me, mouth open and trembling at their generosity

pale orange patch

startled to glimpse a pale orange patch

i looked up from my computer

through the venetian blinds

at the distinctive hind quarters

of an elk not twenty feet away

in my back yard

such a thick, muscular body on

dainty hooves and spindle legs

massive, long head and heavy spread

of antlers—and not alone

just then aware of the busyness

around him, i leaned to look

around the porch posts and to

the other window

six huge, powerful, wild creatures

grazing within feet of me

keeps me properly humble

my deer, my privilege

from the weeks after we moved

into our newly-built house

deer gazed into our living room

windows

they had evidently been using

our field as highway and wondered

about this contraption only partly

blocking their path and the strange

creatures inside

soon they were back, nibbling on

the sod grass we’d had laid

and now, decades later, they return

as does, singly or a gossipy group

at times with gangly offspring

grazing on weeded grass and vegetable

scraps i share

seldom a buck unless young, newly

separated from his mother

this morning dark-haunched

older ladies unabashed to taste green

blades mere feet from my window

my privilege

bit my tongue

i bit my tongue too late

there is no honor

in refusing to tell the tale

after all of me rocked forward

to slander someone with his true deeds

sky rivers buffeted

our sky rivers buffeted, dislodged

from paths we on earth have come

to expect

changes in our weather from above

and beyond bring snow yet again

in the middle of april

and yet again the knowledge

that, despite our fussing, nature

will do as nature wills

as it weaves the world we live in

mj yarns

‘mj yarns’ bag my brother found

for me to collect my little writings in

for i both write and knit

stories, scarves, poems, pendants

sayings and sweaters

he brought the bag up my hill

to leave it on the stand by my chair

without explanation

then hurried away and wouldn’t

say even when i caught him

it took me a minute after his car

left the driveway to see and chuckle

he’s never asked about it since

willing to believe

we are so willing to believe

that what we experience

is truth

yet even our experience of color

is limited by the wavelengths

we can absorb, knowing that,

in reality, there are many more

at each end of the spectrum

why then do we limit God

only to what we are

comforting coincidence

sometimes the rain deepens

my sorrow

as though the earth pain

at my loss

but more often not

mere happenstance

and then my friend

quoted Einstein: ‘coincidence

is God’s way of remaining

anonymous’

how odd age

how odd age is

relative to circumstances

and age

at nine, thirty-nine was ancient

and now, at eight decades plus,

to lose a friend at forty-six

is to relive within myself

the frustrations and joys

of those years he will have missed

and be left only the hope

that his life, for him,

was enough

friends in blue

chuckles at puns

nods at sharing life incidents

warm hugs

smiles of understanding

friends gathered to unwind

together at lunch

and solving a jigsaw puzzle

as they sit looking out

over the pacific

osprey pair

osprey pair

one among the twigs of the nest

one on the crossbar high above

unsheltered from driving rain

waiting

stoic, impatient or oblivious of time

for nature’s next step

in their bespoken calling

to bring forth the next generation

ah, child

ah, the child within us

bleeding from gentle cuts

those who ‘know what’s best’

give without recognition

of children’s deepest needs

causing pallor in our impulse

   toward empathy

and ischemia in our surety of acceptance

   of self and thus of others

the unloved dies a victim of neglect

   and learned hatred

staggering on, we settle for criteria

   of worth as wealth, power and

   cosmetic beauty

even as the child within us weeps

knowing these are superficial and

   unworthy of our brief lives

rich holidays

such rich holidays

for so many people

in the world

a time we could share

our peace and hope

for life’s renewal of joy

if only we will

naked muscle

 thick rope of raw muscle

coiled in the sun

naked, vulnerable

mere feet from its hole

under the cement

unrecognized

without the markings

of shed skin

privileged

“Oh! I’m sorry; I did not mean

to disturb you. I just stepped out

onto my back porch to put this seed

into the bird feeder, forty – fifty – sixty

beautiful elk. As soon as feed them

I’ll go back inside.”

they watched—one a mere twenty feet

beyond me in my lower field—watched

but granted me the privilege

of stepping out and then right back in

without interrupting their feeding

then i watched them

from my dining room window

neutrality

i don’t hate you

i work hard to keep unfeeling

one way or the other

i cannot afford to care

because you use me for no purpose

you grow not

and waste my life

only so much

only so much i can do

when whoever is in charge wants more

i can only give less

and we are both dissatisfied with me

i am learning to forgive myself for that

osprey wait

osprey waited days in high nest

for her mate to arrive from far off

the pair now huddle

among the sticks

in rain so fat it splatters

drenching the wait now

for eggs that will need warming

and insistent little mouths

that will demand to be fed