chickadee tells me like it is

chickadee flutters chair to chair

to look me in at eye at my computer

and squabble that i am late

filling the birdseed plate

then adds the bird feeder is so public

the scrub and Steller’s jays have found

it and use their size to demand

first place in line

i cannot help about the jays but

i do rise quickly to replenish the seed

funny how sadness

funny how sadness for me

begins with not wanting

to do anything

or be with anyone

only when i’ve been hermitized

for days do i realize

i need to walk in the wind

to regain perspective

and my love of life

arbitrary

arbitrary

whoever has the power

makes the choices

from wherever they are

and whatever they see

or need now

forgive them

and go on

learning more of who

you are without

allowing them to define you

second sleep

second sleep again

deep and satisfying

but after hours-long

gap in the middle of the night

i learn to use the time

in reading, solving sudoku

but i cannot create

so i’d prefer to sleep through

if that can be arranged, please

it was simply understood

greed may have been

good then, but not

the admitting of it

respect for your elders then

required that you use

their title – Mr., Mrs., Miss

not Ms unless you were from

the South and then

you spelled it Miz

anyone who swore aloud

shocked, and was shunned

but our black and white sensibilities

denied brown, yellow and red

the possibility of full personhood

it was simply understood

so-called adults

hero worship and childishness

scare me blind

as they seem to be

personally, i prefer dealing

adult to adult, realistic, respectful

or adult to a child

less than four feet tall

and having experienced life

for less than two decades

not whiny and dependent

or the ones who look down

on everyone but never

grew up

moments with JPM

memories and gratitude

fill me in her presence

as she remembers my storyline

from nearly a decade before

and waves away my thanks

for teaching how to lead

a writing group

welcome, dear one

she trudged up the slope

leaving her car on the clear

almost-flat before the abandoned

house

carrying still warm coconut soup

and crab cakes for my supper

but mostly to see that i was

well

signs that i’d tried to check

for mail but no one had tried

to fight the ice under the snow

to deliver

haiku

that which we allow

pulls at our dreative core

taxing what is best

unknowing

unknowing

how much we don’t know we don’t know

how frightening to get caught up

in situations that assume we understand

but we do not

blessed are those who have friends

or loved ones near to help us learn

what is needful