life changes

life changes in the briefest moment

dad fell, broke his neck, was paralyzed

so i recognized possibilities as

i stood suddenly knowing

i was going down before i could do

anything to stop or break my fall

i did survive intact, but know now

i may need to change my solitary life

although i love my home in the country

with unexpected visits by deer, elk

young bobcat, snowy owl, cougar

human that i am

again tripped over nothing

went down slow motion

unhurt but embarrassed

and frightened of how vulnerable

i am becoming

and how little i seem to be able

to heal what is wrong

human that i am

non-eqilibrium

funny how frightening

non-equilibrium engenders me

leaning toward walls

with each step

bumping into walls

to keep from falling

walking along

and suddenly veering

standing stock still

knowing i need to be down

but refusing to collapse

having already broken a rib

falling hard

even funnier

that it’s been my mind

that’s defined me all my life

and now my head

that’s going to kill me

fall of yellow

a breeze

and its rain of yellow

leaves, warmth

of a golden summer

sun grown ripe

ready for the fall