toddler raised

(haiku)

daddy lifts toddler

as if tossing to blue sky

son gasps, trusts, giggles

feeling vulnerable

i feel vulnerable, but i don’t know why

living alone up here on the hill

no one really in scream-hearing range

i’ve kept the front door locked

so i am the one who lets visitors in

i think i’ll lock the back door now, too

chilling

another night of silent snow

to laden pine branches with beauty

another morning of soul-reaching chill

to remind us of the plight of wild

creatures who cannot always

protect their offspring

and of the parents of war

who cannot always

protect their children

from leaders willing to sacrifice them

in the name of policy or conviction

not alexei

i guess no one taught you manliness

so bluff, bluster and bullying

are all you know except to whine

when things do not go your way

blame is due someone else

anyone else but self, though you

claim credit for all that goes well

near you

no, despite your attempted comparison,

you are not alexei navalny

it isn’t courage

“You don’t have the courage to have an affair!” left me open-mouthed and staring

It isn’t courage that is required to betray

“Let Putin do whatever the hell he wants!” leaves the world gasping and shaking their heads

It isn’t revenge that gifts peace

laughter without humiliation

laughter with family and friends

telling embarrassing interludes

we wouldn’t want just everyone to hear

but can share with those who will see

the humor without thinking less of us

that somehow eases the pain

of knowing again we are not perfect                                           

service

servitude, bondage, subjugation

a mat to be walked upon

but to serve is something else

to give freely of yourself

to help others

to prepare and serve a meal

to teach so that others may grow fully

to minister to needs so others may heal

to maintain a healthy environment

to protect others, many of whom

would be defenseless without

your giving of yourself

thus to serve is to provide a noble gift

which will not always be seen

for what it is, but will be cherished

by those with insight and understanding

i am

 that you do not see me

does not make me invisible

answer before acting, please

how do I have the right to correct

to maim, to slaughter those who see not

the ‘truth‘ as I see and know it

and to lay blame at the feet

of the almighty who clearly commanded

‘Thou shalt not kill’

if not through, then beside

weeping for my family

i cannot protect

i can no longer ‘kiss better’

sobbing for the pain and fear

i cannot absorb for them

knowing, remembering my own

longing to keep them from that harm

even understanding their strength

and that they must go through it alone

i can only stand beside or behind them