unanswered phone

i have the right to protect

myself from further attack

decades of trying to care for one

who uses her special needs

to enjoy turning the screw

and quickly gets over the pain

but not my pain

she seems not to grasp that i

was the one hurt, not she

she’s sweet again and unwilling

to believe i will not answer

if not through, then beside

weeping for my family

i cannot protect

i can no longer ‘kiss better’

sobbing for the pain and fear

i cannot absorb for them

knowing, remembering my own

longing to keep them from that harm

even understanding their strength

and that they must go through it alone

i can only stand beside or behind them