overcome

emotional blow bowed me to rest

my head on the chair back in front of me

i could not stand up without my son

holding me as i sobbed

my Ted had flown in from the Midwest

as a surprise set up with the family

not seeing him for a year

or more at a time

i knew the hunger of longing

but had not realized how the deep

the pining ached until he held me

in his arms

yearly anticipation

 chill these last few nights

welcome after torrid days

awaiting long summer of hot

days and nights and the longing

for autumn

rain gauge

oregon rain creates bleak chill

even when spring should dwarf

all efforts to dampen sunshine

our spirits droop, even knowing

dust devils will soon dervish—

whirl all thought of grays

and stir our longing for mist

and the soothing respite of dew

loved beauty

 a second sunrise he

has missed on earth

who designed our father’s

funeral brochure, pastel

with small plane gliding over fields between surrounding hills

if only one of us could now

create his with as much

loved beauty.

dream beside

(haiku)

 depth dream sleep allowed

his longed-for weight and being

to lie beside me

twisted gladness

watching the photos

of their cruise of the Greek islands

of their safari in Africaand tour of Maine

i am glad for them

they earned it with years of intense schooling

and weary hours of work at their careers

but a pinprick of something—

a longing perhaps—

twists my joy for them

as i remember our years of school and hanging on

hoping, dreaming—

and then you left